chatananas: colbert/emanuel (PAIRING: stephen rahm bipartisan)
[personal profile] chatananas

Title: Hold Me Down
Fandom: Fakenews and American politics
Pairing: Stephen Colbert/Rahm Emanuel
Summary: They said having rebound sex with a short, grumpy, graying, foul-mouthed, middle-aged workaholic Jew born on the 29th of November to forget about a short, grumpy, graying, foul-mouthed, middle-aged workaholic Jew born on the 28th of November wasn't a good idea, but what do they know.
Warning: Swear words and slight emotional f*ckery, as can be expected.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Shove It - Santogold ft. Spank Rock (POV "Stephen")

Better Know a Chief of Staff. Who's Better Watch Out.

War tactics, they make me sick
Reel your heart in, run away with it
Smile in your face, undermine your back
Got guns for the strength they lack.
So if you know another way
You can't look the other way
If you know another way
Tell them so right to their face:

"We think you're a joke,
Shove your hope where it don't shine"

Button my Lip - Elvis Costello (POV Stephen)

Rahm has seen Colbert in action before, yet nothing could have prepared him for the trashing he's just taken. And fucker has the gall to flirt while the technicians wrap up their shit. That clown is DEAD.

Don't want to talk about the government
Don't want to talk about some incident
Don't want to talk about some peppermint gum
Don't want to talk about the time to come

Button my lip
'Til I'm smart enough

Don't raise your hand 'cos I'm not offering
It serves you right, now you are suffering
Give me a chance to see it through
It all depends on what you hold is true

Button my lip
With your kiss

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore - The Smiths (POV Rahm)

Well, dead as soon as Colbert's done giving him a ride, that is. Fucking climate change. That, THAT is the winter of his hardship.

Park the car at the side of the road
You should know
Time's tide will smother you
And I will too
When you laugh about people who feel so
Very lonely
Their only desire is to die
Well, I'm afraid
It doesn't make me smile
I wish I could laugh

But that joke isn't funny anymore
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone
More than you'll ever know ...

Be My Number Two - Joe Jackson (POV Stephen)

Sometimes, what seems like a very bad idea is in fact a not so terribly bad idea in disguise.

Won't you be my number two?
Me and number one are through.
There won't be too much to do;
Just smile when I feel blue.

And there is not much left of me.
What you get is what you see;
Is it worth the energy?
I leave it up to you.

And if you got something to say to me,
Don't try to lay your funny ways on me.
I know that it's really not fair of me,
But my heart's seen
Too much action.

Slut - Velvet Acid Christ (POV Rahm)

They'll just have some good old rebound, no strings attached sex. Nothing to fear. Worst case scenario, Emanuel completely ruins the type for him and then Stephen is free to date handsome men at last. No way he can lose, really.

Well it may sound absurd
I want to be a wreck for you
Smash out my honor on your floor
Fill up your bathtub with my moods

Well it may sound a little frightening
I want to swallow all of your skin
Chew your soft tissue into ash
Beat your ego black and blue

Howl - Florence And The Machine (POV Rahm)

You think an angry Rahm Emanuel is scary? Try a Rahm in love.

Now there's no rolling back, I'm aching to attack
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hollow ground

Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my breast
I want to find you and tear out all of your tenderness

Hound of Love - The Futureheads (POV Stephen)

BRB, reconsidering this.

The hounds of love are calling
I've always been a coward
And I don't know what's good for me
Well, here I go
It's coming at me through the trees
Help me, someone, help me please
Take your shoes off and throw them in the lake
And I will be two steps on the water

Violently Happy - Bjork (POV Rahm)

People would be very surprised to learn that Rahm Emanuel is lovesick. The prevailing theory is that he's started doing meth.

Since I met you
This small town hasn't got room
For my big feelings

Violently happy! 'cause I love you
Violently happy! but you're not here
Violently happy! come calm me down
Before I get into trouble

This Tornado Loves You - Neko Case (POV Rahm)

It's Colbert who called the break, but it's Washington who pays for it. Washington and the poor schmuck who won't transfer his calls to Colbert.

My love, I am the speed of sound
I left them motherless, fatherless
Their souls they hang inside-out from their mouths
But it's never enough

I want you

Carved your name across three counties
Ground it in with bloody hides
Their broken necks will line the ditch
'til you stop it, stop it
Stop this madness

I want you

Mad About You - Hooverphonic (POV Stephen)

Evvie got him because she pounced, sunk her claws in and never let go. Same for Jon, with all his unassuming ways. When Stephen finds Rahm sitting gingerly on a trashcan near the studio one night after the show, eyes circled with purple, he realizes he's got to give this tired predator his chance. After all, love has always happened to him that way.

Trouble is your middle name
But in the end you're not too bad
Can someone tell me if it's wrong to be
So mad about you
Mad about you

Give me all your true hate
And I'll translate it in your bed
Into never seen passion
That is why I am so mad about you
Mad about you

The Cactus Where Your Heart Should Be - The Magnetic Fields (POV Stephen)

When you get used to him, you realize the various threats are his idea of banter. His range is narrow, but his creativity runs deep.

The cactus where your heart should be has lovely little flowers
so though it's always pricking me my ardor never sours

The cactus where your heart once was has power to rend and flay
I stick because I'm stuck, because I just can't tear myself away

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga (POV Stephen)

Few things make Stephen prouder than emotional bravery, and it does take a shitload of it to be with Rahm Emanuel. He goes to sleep every night with the satisfied smile of someone who's discovered the extent of his own true strength.

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want you leather-studded kiss in the sand
I want your love
I want your love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Your bad romance

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

Download here

Okay, so this is a Dreamwidth account. You can totally leave me an anonymous comment if you don't have an account here, or you can log in with OpenID to comment with your LJ name.

Pimping my other fanmixes:

This Thing - A "Stephen Colbert"/Jon Stewart Fanmix
Loyal Dissent - A Rahm Emanuel/Jon Stewart Fanmix

(no subject)

Date: Tuesday, 2 February 2010 03:37 (UTC)
erinptah: (Default)
From: [personal profile] erinptah
Worse case scenario, Emanuel completely ruins the type for him and then Stephen is free to date handsome men at last. No way he can lose, really.

I lol'd :D

This is delightful. (And you should be posting these to [community profile] punditfic!)

(no subject)

Date: Tuesday, 2 February 2010 05:09 (UTC)
erinptah: (Default)
From: [personal profile] erinptah
It might be iffy if they were just-Rahm mixes, but since you keep pairing him with Jon or Stephen, it's totally kosher =D